It’s a Small Uber World After All
Chapter 18
Melissa Good
“What are we doing here, again?” Dar asked. “One minute we have a ‘Trends in
Technology’ conference in Ohio on the schedule, the next thing I know I’m on a
plane to Orlando.”
“They canceled the conference due to lack of trends, and we already had the
puppy sitter planned.” Kerry said. “No sense in wasting an opportunity.”
Dar made a face.
“Just think of it as a freebie weekend.” Kerry advised. “Besides, it’s good to
do unexpected things once in a while.”
Dar peered evilly at her from behind her sunglasses. “Are you saying I’m
boring?”
“No.”
“Yes, you were.”
“No, I wasn’t.” Kerry poked her. “Don’t be so sensitive.”
“I am not sensitive.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not.” Dar poked her back. “Don’t be so presumptive.”
“Me? What about you? Boring? As if!”
“I was joking.” Dar settled back in her monorail seat and rubbed a worn spot on
the calf of her jeans. “Besides, the way our day’s been going, boring is the
last thing this weekend’s turning out to be.” She glanced around the train car.
“What next, dancing gerbils asking me to provision a T1 for them? First we run
into an Animal Planet movie of the week, then it’s an emergency application of
internet technology back at the transportation center.”
“Mm.” Kerry started to stand up. “Multifaceted weirdness. You’re right.” She
pulled Dar’s shirt, giving its occupant little choice other than either to
follow her or lose the item. “C’mon. I hear some chocolate fudge calling my
name.”
They walked off the monorail and started down the long and winding ramp to the
entrance to the Magic Kingdom. “You know what’s really weird?” Kerry commented.
“It’s really weird how they both looked like us.”
“Nah.”
“Nah, it’s not weird?” Kerry eyed her. “You don’t think bumping into two pairs
of gay women partners who looked like us wasn’t weird? Good grief, Dar... did
you accidentally get multigrain Cheerios instead of Frosted Flakes this
morning?”
“I like multigrain Cheerios.” Dar protested mildly. “No, I meant I didn’t think
they looked all that much like us.” She added. “After all, dark haired people
and blond haired people aren’t exactly rare, Ker.”
“Uh huh.” Kerry lead the way into the park, after presenting her ticket to the
appropriate machine and placing her fingers in the completely ineffectual
biometric hand scanner than almost never worked right. “With coincidentally the
same color eyes as ours?”
“How many variations are there?” Dar countered. “Blue, green, brown, hazel.”
“Hm.”
“Besides, look around. Bet you can find some dark haired and light haired
partners.” Dar pointed. “There, see?”
“That’s a pair of horses, Dar.”
“Okay, there.”
“I don’t think they’re partners.” Kerry steered Dar into the Emporium.
“Something about the “Baptist Evangelist Book Club” t-shirts they have on just
makes me wonder.”
“Eh, Maybe.” Dar peered around the store. “Okay, well, look in here.” She
continued on her quest. “See? Cinderella and Prince Charming.”
Kerry reviewed the delicately painted plate. “Well, okay.” She conceded.
Dar plopped a plastic tiara on Kerry’s head and reviewed the results. “Hm.”
“Are we drawing parallels here?” Kerry asked, pointedly. “Where’s my pumpkin?”
Dar chuckled, and returned the tiara to the shelf, then picked up two figurines.
“I think this is more appropriate.” She held them up.
“Beauty and the Beast?” Kerry burst out laughing. “Only if I get to be the
beast. Gimme.” She clutched after the figures, then poked Dar in the sides when
Dar lifted her hands above her head and out of Kerry’s reach. “Wench.”
“Okay. So we’ve got Cinderella and the Prince, Beauty and the Beast... um... how
about that mermaid whatsername?”
“Ariel.” Kerry supplied. “But I think she had red hair.”
“She had blond roots.” Dar grinned evilly.
“Oo... you’re cruising, Dixiecup,” Kerry warned. “You forgot a pair.” She held
up two stuffed animals.
Dar put her hands on her hips and peered at the two. “Lady and the Tramp.” One
long fingered hand reached out and plucked the darker of the two furry items.
“Let me see if I can guess which one of these two is me.”
“The cuter one.”
“Uh huh.” Dar went nose to nose with the scruffy gray toy. “So, do I make my
point? We’re not seeing doubles, Kerry.”
Kerry tucked the other stuffed animal under her arm. “But we did, Dar.” She
reminded her partner wryly. “You know we did. Two sets of them. In one day. We
even talked to them.” She tapped Dar’s hip. “You sent an email for one of them.”
They paid for their selections and wandered outside. “You know what else was
weird?”
“That I haven’t had ice cream all day.” Dar nudged her towards one side of the
street.
“Dar, we’re on our way to dinner.” Kerry nudged her right back, steering her
away from the ice cream parlor. “We’ll get some afterward.”
“Grrr.”
“And that reminds me again what was weird. Those cats.” Kerry said. “What were
jaguars doing in there?”
“I’m more interested in where they went.” Dar remarked. “I’m not really looking
forward to opening the Orlando Sentinel tomorrow morning and seeing headlines
about some family of four from Toledo being eaten for lunch. A lot of people saw
us do that.”
“Hehehe.” Kerry linked arms with her. “So I guess having at least two other sets
of people who look just like us would be a positive, then. Huh?”
Dar considered the idea as they headed towards the castle. “Okay, so here’s the
plan.” She announced. “If the cats mulch someone, we run around Disney and
gather up all the people you think look like us, bring ‘em to the hotel, and
confuse the hell out of the cops. Right?”
Kerry rubbed her temples. “Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?
”
“Not nearly as ridiculous as us having clones, or us letting wild animals
escape, or me volunteering to send someone else’s email on my PDA.”
“Hm.”
“Just go with it, Ker. With any luck, we’ll wake up at home and this’ll all have
been a dream.”
Kerry took her hand. “Okay.” She agreed amiably.
They walked along together in silence, as the swirl of humanity shuffled around
them heading in the opposite direction. The strains of an oncoming parade
filtered softly down to them, and as they crossed the circle, a Mickey head
balloon suddenly blew in front of them, heading skyward.
Dar made a grab for it, catching the end of the ribbon as it just went past her
grasp. She secured it around one finger, then looked around for its owner. A sea
of tired, grubby faces presented themselves to her, but none looked twice at the
balloon, nor did she see any hands reaching towards it.
Kerry observed the balloon, then peered up at her partner. “It’s you, Dar.
Really.”
Dar’s eyes traced the rounded ears and beaming grin. “Which part of it?” She
wondered aloud, looking around for someone to pawn the bobbing balloon off on.
“Let’s go tie it to Tigger’s tail.”
“Better than to my tail.” Kerry said. “Maybe we can find our doubles with that
baby... bet she’d like it. “
“Your tail? Little young for that, wasn’t she?”
“Dar.” Kerry smacked her on the butt. “You’re so bad. But you did look cute with
that kid.”
“Don’t start.”
“Heh.”
“Y’know....” Kerry teased.
“We have a dog.” Dar said firmly, taking Kerry’s arm and guiding her towards the
castle.
“Dinner, ice cream, then back to the Grand Floridian for a good night’s....”
“Hehehehe.”
************
They closed the park, walking hand in hand down Main Street as the last
stragglers headed for the front gates and the music muted to a peacefully gentle
melody. Kerry reached out and brushed her fingers over one of the horsehead
pedestals. “You think it’s true they paint these every night?”
Dar sucked on her mint contentedly. “I think if they really painted them every
night, they’d be the size of basketballs by now. It’s been twenty some years.”
“Mm.” Kerry studied the horse. “Yeah. You’re right.” She glanced into the
windows of the shops as they passed. “You up for a swim tonight at the hotel?”
“Always.”
“So.” Kerry mused. “Where do you suppose all our doubles are staying? I figure
we’d have seen them at the hotel by now if they were there.”
“I thought we dropped the doubles issue?”
“Well, I was just curious....”
Dar lead her towards the monorail station. “Ker, they just looked like us.
Doesn’t mean they were LIKE us.”
Kerry snickered. “So you admit they looked like us.”
Dar groaned.
“Gotcha.”
They boarded the next monorail, settling into a seat together in the
semi-darkness. Dar wrapped her arm around Kerry’s shoulders and extended her
legs out into the empty car as the doors closed and the train started to move.
“Well, you know something?” Kerry said, as they were approaching the Grand
Floridian station.
“What?” Dar had her head resting against her partner’s, and was regretting the
end of the ride.
“I hope they’re all as happy as you and I are.” Kerry said.
“Mm.” Dar hoisted them both to their feet as the doors opened, revealing the
hotel platform. “I hope they are too.” She agreed, as they walked out. “And I
hope none of them got eaten by those jaguars.”
Kerry stifled a snicker. “Well, we have a jaguar in our room. Let’s go use it,
jefa.”
************
“Good breakfast.” Kerry commented, as they strolled out of the restaurant and into the main lobby. “This is a great hotel, Dar.”
“Well, I think so.”
“We should have our next company convention here.” The blond woman decided.
“It’d be much more fun than the Miami Beach convention center, wouldn’t it?”
“Oh yeah.” Dar agreed readily. “Eh. Maybe we will. Give me something to look
forward to during that mess other than seeing what color tie Jose is going to
clash with during his presentation.”
“They’ve got plenty of convention space.” Kerry darted off to investigate a
scrolling sign. “Oh, see? They’ve got some conventions going on now… Mary Kay,
The Association of Pine Tar Developers, Hanes, and Bardcon.” She cocked her head
and looked at Dar. “What’s a Bardcon?”
Dar studied the sign. “Some guys who are retroactively trying to scam
Shakespeare?” She suggested helpfully. “Sounds way more interesting than pink
ladies, road covering, or underwear. Let’s poke our heads in the room and find
out.”
“All righty.” Kerry followed Dar over to the long hallway full of meeting rooms,
and had to put on the brakes when her partner stopped short in front of her as
they reached the right door. “Hey!”
“Oh boy.” Dar said.
“What?” Kerry peered around her, jaw dropping in shock as she saw what Dar had
already seen. “Holy cow! It’s....”
“Well... you wanted to know where they were.” Dar said. “Now you know.”
“Are we going in?”
“Do we have a choice?”
Kerry edged back. “We could just go to Epcot and pretend we didn’t see a roomful
of clones.”
“C’mon. Let’s go find out what the hell this is.” Dar wrapped an arm firmly
around her and marched them both inside.
To be concluded in Chapter 19 ....